Black Sheep + White Sheep

relink!

2010-10-28T07:40:00.000-07:00

Only _____ shall proceed.

What is the correct answer?

1. Humans

2. Aliens

3. Bobos

Guess the answer and click! hee.

because today/tomorrow is an auspicious day to relink.

the captain and the ship.

2010-10-28T06:03:00.000-07:00

There was once a ship which got caught in a storm. A crew member went below deck and announced that water was leaking in slowly into the hull of the ship. This made the crew panic and they began a heated discussion on whether they should abandon the ship and leave in their lifeboats. Half of the crew thought they should stay on the ship and try to patch up the leaks, because the chances of them surviving on the lifeboat in the stormy sea weren't that great anyway, but the other half argued that they should just leave or everyone would sink together with the ship, lifeboats and all.

They couldn't come to a decision, so they brought the matter to the attention of the captain, who too, had discovered the leaks and was trying to patch them alone while his crew members were quarrelling.

The captain had no idea what to do as well. He loved his ship very, very much, and couldn't bear to leave it. On the other hand, he knew that the ship wasn't going to make it through the storm.

What do you think happened to the captain?

blargh

2010-10-27T02:38:00.000-07:00

Aish 6 out of 7 subjects results back.

Sigh. Most of them were rather expected, except for the ____ which was gross and yucky and disappointing and screwed up my msg which is a giant bobo because I've been working hard for it all year but then again effort does not necessarily equal results.

Sigh. Although i think there might be an overall improvement in percentage, but my msg will probably remain the same D=. Yucks.

Oh well. Crafted the entire storyline for AVO revisited and realised that someone has to die in the end. Not that I sadistically like killing of characters, but sometimes, a sacrifice has to be made. and if you're my squadmate, HELLO SQUID I UPDATED THE OLD AVO IF YOU WOULD WANT TO READ IT. but if you're not then nvm. Vaguely considered posting my fanfic on fanfic websites but then, so malu if no one reads it! =O

lol.

AVO and AVO revisited =D

gradnight horror story

2010-10-26T06:09:00.000-07:00

Watched tongyan today with adjacent! Wheee not bad la especially the 3d part which made it more scary i guess. and the sound effects were really good! (Y) and rainie has nice shoes in the movie. reminds me of pretty tangguowu shoes which is pretty expensive as well.

aha momentary escape from the Grad night horror story which keeps me awake at night more than any bloody woman and blue boy could.

sigh.

I hope I can read faster.

call my name and save me from the dark.

2010-10-24T19:34:00.000-07:00

Drowning, drowning, drowned.

Being dependent on Simple Plan isn't that bad a thing anymore. It calms me down magically, even though blasting music may result in me being labelled as a public nuisance.

" Everybody always gave you what you wanted, you never had to work it was always there"

How true. And the annoying fact is that some people just breeze through life on a stroke of luck, take what is given and despair about the most trivial matters. And in the end, they get as much as those who slog half their lives away trying to be even better, or a little more fortunate. So much for achievement record systems that try to measure how much you've contributed. So much for points they give you for participation and stuff. None of those can really measure how much effort someone puts in, because effort is not something material that you put on a weighing to weigh and record your results.

There are puppet leaders, empty mastheads who wear a title for the sake of wearing it, not because they've been working hard for the good of everyone. and there are behind the scenes people who work their lives away but never get any recognition because what they've done doesn't fit into any category in the so called points system, which is actually quite pointless. So then, what are those efforts considered as? Trash? or simply somebody's way of wasting away time?

and it hurts the most when effort isn't directly proportionate to results.

horror story.

2010-10-23T07:39:00.000-07:00

I am living the Grad Night horror story. I breathe, think and dream Grad Night.

oh well. hao ren zuo dao di.

After EOYs!

2010-10-20T03:46:00.000-07:00

Yay productive day today!

Went to borders to spend my going-to-expire-in-two-days borders voucher and bought The Tenth Circle! goose why are books so expensive nowadays! It was 18 bucks and you actually pay one more dollar to get the bigger font version. gah. But jodi picoult rocks! lol i was reading the book on the train and i was already touched after the first chapter. aish. never ever thought that i'll like touching, emotional, family-ish books. moo.

And then i flapped my way to the library and borrowed more books lol. After eoys must read more to improve my horrible chinese (and chong1 shi2 zi4 ji3!) yay.

and flapped to daiso to buy clay! And DAISO NEVER SELL STONE CLAY NOW!!! ROAR. i dislike soft clay. It always dries before i finish moulding my stuff! cos it's fast air drying clay! boo.

then had to go popular to buy the other kind of clay. which was so much more ex! ahh daiso you giant banana. D=

heh but i successfully completed all my tasks within 4 hours yay.

and now maple is being a giant bobo again! aishhhh.

2010-10-14T23:28:00.000-07:00

yikes half a subject left and one very screwed up chem paper. BISH.

i declare operation save chem an epic failure.

BAH. slap you Yan Ni.

你不知道的事 is a really nice song =D

Yay i shall be a slacky pig today and slack around and grow fat and round.

And (ahem) write AVO!

yay i am pleased with the new storyline.

hee!

lets all jump into a pond.

2010-10-12T06:28:00.000-07:00

Last post before the scary geog+math+chem (yikes!) dash.

Lols Yan Ni i shall pat you on the shoulder and say "jiayou!" cos you're going to need it, especially for the dreaded C word.

Everyone was born with 24 hours in a day. Everyone gets the right to use their 24 hours in whichever way they want. However, there are certain activities designed to keep mankind progressing, which everyone should participate in, regardless of whether they like it or not. If someone chooses to misuse the rest of their free hours, why should they be allowed to compromise on something everyone has to go through to make up for their own mistakes? It is a selfish thing to do, and it makes this whole unfair system even more unfair than it is, because of unscrupulous acts and because there are people who abide by the rules, so much that they do not attempt to seek shortcuts to everything. It doesn't reflect very well on anyone, not even someone with the best of records. If everyone acted in such a childish, immature way, it isn't difficult to predict the future of society. Wherever you are, I hope your conscience nags at you.

2010-10-10T09:52:00.000-07:00

It's 12.52 am.

and i have completed 45 mcq in a hour. good job. although i don't think many of them are correct. Alas! my chem is disgustingly horrible.

Oh well. Vanilla Twilight is a nice song.

And I'll forget the world that I knew, but I swear I won't forget you.
Oh, if my voice could reach back through the past,
I'll whisper in your ear, darling I wish you were here

Maybe next time I'll think of this song when I realise that lunch has become a boring and mundane and unnecessary affair without squadmates.

Ah, the memories.

Bulb talking about rugby made me think about taupok, and squadmates and roller chair races and crapping sessions in kap, and loitering around the atrium and fake phones, and morning circles and going home with giant u covers and squishing onto buses and movie sessions and ktv and bowling and loitering around and discussions on where to go and what to eat for lunch and laughing crazily and winston and monalibean and giant msn convos and spamming of gmail and colour coding emails.

wow.

the night makes one nostalgic.

back with a bang! ... gunshot in the head i mean.

2010-10-09T08:41:00.000-07:00

I shall post because I see the end of EOYS ( and because I'm really annoyed with all the rest of the subjects in general)

Yay 4 subjects gone! Don't really know what to say about them, except for the fact that they're gone! throw them away into the drain whee.

Heh was being a slacky pig and watching mingzhong just now. Even though it's a rerun, but I never watched before! the last time i started watching was from the part where anna came back, and a few random parts online. chenxinyi is so cute! although she makes me cry when she cries.

(i think I'll cry buckets and buckets when i finally get down to watching hai pai properly... that they they just showed clips on bfb and i was being sad and teary alr =.=) but then ah mingzhong is such a nice show! so sad, and yet so funny at the same time! and the dog is really cute =D

and geog is getting annoying..... the amount of things to memorise is D= D= and i can't seem to get bio out of my head! Apparently we only use 1% of our brains our whole lives, so what on earth is the other 99% percent doing! hello hello brain I need you now!

bahhh.

i wish this could happen to me!

不用再问为什么
不用再说些什么
了了懂了

into oblivion.

2010-09-26T07:17:00.000-07:00

Make your own Countdown Clocks

perhaps I need this ^ to get my pre EOYs adrenaline pumping.

I have decided that the time has come to put a lock on my computer.

I shall minimise my computer usage! ( and cut severely on pet society, and bejeweled, and feud, and whatnot) And TV usage! sigh no more exciting 10pm hongkong shows D= but i think not watching bfb's out of the question though. overpowering passion!

and yes, no more blogging till I see the end of EOYs.

- solemn stare-

need to save my chem like how I did last year (although i can't remember what i did to resuscitate it so nicely) but ih is... oh well, I shall pray hard cross my fingers, toes and tie my hair in knots and hope that some knight in shining armour comes along to send it to the hospital.

Ghost whisperer last night was really really epicly nice. It's not called the season finale for nothing eh. Got freaked out by the child "army" thing when they were marching down the hallways, and shadows flying around under the door thing got me spooked out a bit. sigh, I think xia4 dian3 has gone down a lot since Ju-on. I used to survive through horror movies at night alone and now I'm being spooked by flying black things. good job Yan Ni. but life without ghost whisperer seems sad D= and there's no duo mao mao anymore! Perhaps it's a signal from the heavens that i should be watching less tv. Oh well, pay heed to the signs and I'm sure good things will happen =D

so long then, world.

2010-09-24T07:54:00.000-07:00

Yay koped from esther's bloggg.

RULES: Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to a bunch of people. You can't use the band I used. Don't repeat a song title.

Artist: 罗志祥

1. Describe yourself:
搞笑

2 Are you a male or female?
潮男正传

3. How do you feel:

黑眼圈

4. Describe where you currently live:

精舞门!

5. If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
国王游戏

6. Your favorite form of transportation:
垃圾桶 (omg=.=)

7. Your best friend:
机器娃娃
8. Your favorite colour is:
灰色空間

9. What's the weather like:
Twinkle

10. Favorite time of day:
搞定

11. If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
习惯就好

12. What is life to you:
我秀故我在

13. Your current relationship:
为什么要在一起

14. Looking for:
高调爱

15. Wouldn’t mind:
当我们宅一块 (with squidos!)
16. Your fear:
我不会唱歌

17. What is the best advice you have to give:
做得到

18. If you could change your name, you would change it to
幸福猎人

19. Thought for the Day:
败给你

20. How you want to die:
自我催眠 (lol!)

show fever.

2010-09-24T00:34:00.000-07:00

Couldn't resist the temptation of another great xiaozhu video, and ended up watching the entire part of his performance at the Taiwan MAF celebrations.

I think if I had been there, I would have shouted myself hoarse. There's just something in his performances that gets the entire audience hyped up within seconds, and keeps them in that delirious state until the end. Like that night, I was so high I was screaming away without even thinking. Starting with ai de zhu chang xiu was great, since it was a new song and his proness at dancing with one hand holding the mike never fails to amaze me. =D then there was bai gei ni! hee my ex favourite song! and I think the SFC member whose camera he took to zi pai almost fainted. I would have fainted argh.And then my goose yizhiduxiu! old song, but still as exciting as ever! and then ai feng tou..... ai feng tou has always had this "special" place in my heart since that day. it's like the kind of song that you don't randomly play, because it has special meanings behind it and because playing it will evoke sad, and beautiful memories.... but ai feng tou is a great crowd pleaser. the production team was really nice, putting up the cool fireworks for him =D

I guess it's all these little things he always does that makes the audience ( and me) fall deeper in...Winking suddenly, shaking hands, making full use (literally) of the stage, taking cameras, funny expressions.... they create this sort of connection between the audience and him, like a many to one function i guess. Many girls to one show. =D

wonderful wonderful performance that made me smile retardedly to myself the whole way through.

"我不再做某某某, 我是....."

"罗志祥!!!"

signposts in limbo.

2010-09-20T04:55:00.000-07:00

secret impossible dreams that take flight once they land in my head. the moment they take off, I know they're never going to come back.

I used to post philosophical and confusing posts when I was a young and innocent child. lol. innocent. But the world did seem better then. No SUTD to awaken those lost dreams and tug them back into my head, no scary things like life without squadmates.

Back then, four years seemed so endless. It looked like I had forever, and ever and ever. maybe I was more concerned with how I would live with these sixteen strange people for the next part of eternity, but now, as I reach the end of the road, I wish someone could put a U turn signpost. Plant it into the ground, and let it stand strong, like our bonds used to be.

So that everyone who reached that point would have the choice to turn back and relive those memories. And walk again, and turn back. again and again, stuck in limbo. for once, limbo looks beautiful.

我假装过去不重要　却发现自己办不到

说了再见　才发现再也见不到

我不能就这样失去你的微笑

so true.

2010-09-17T23:23:00.000-07:00

I was watching fanyichen mvs, and then I realised that the old him (before ku ai yue tuan) looks slightly like xiaozhu from some angles. Then I discovered that they have the same genes from the same indigenous group !=D amei zu ftw! Haiz.

*mental note to buy amei zu keychain!* The days before EOYs are always the most torturous I guess, even more torturous than the actual exams I guess.

But after EOYs life’s going to rock =O PSLcamp’10 + Grad Night+ TAIWAN (Y) with squiddies, and hopefully a non-weird other person.

It’s quite gay to call squadmates squiddies! Aish squadmates- siguomatesi – squidmates – squids – squiddies –bobos - bubs – bloopies. And lol Bulb and Bob for the gay bulbbob in my class *coughs*

I wonder what’s with all the s/ b words.

Wheez I shall aim to finish plate tect by today and do some functions! gooose i suck at functions. F(x) is not for me.

2010-09-17T01:30:00.001-07:00

Maybe I am creating a false dilemma for myself.

But such responsibilities are......

Maybe the only Jap band/group I'll ever like is Aqua Timez. Sigh. Nice songs, and meaningful lyrics, and their style is nice. Not the screamy screamy kind, but the kind that's tough on the outside, but gentle on the inside. Oh well, bad description.

and they taught me a fair number of jap words =D

but yes. ALONES

taught me "it's alright to smile for yourself".

too twisty.

2010-09-15T06:06:00.000-07:00

I am kind of excited and sad at the same time.

Sad because ah, of the problem la.

excited because this year i won't be lonely again!

Yes no more looking out of bus windows and seeing interesting things and having no one to tell it too, because not everyone understands jokes about rabbit islands and horns.

yay squadmates!

爱你我感到骄傲, 什么都好 =D

2010-09-09T21:30:00.000-07:00

I shall declare today tourism day! Briggs' Model of Tourism and Bali yeah.

Tomorrow shall be Sec 4 Bio day, and Sunday shall be Acids and Bases and Mole Concept day.

yay.

mole concept reminds me of moles, like the animal. cute mole!

although the fingers (?) look slightly scary.

and the real mole day is on oct 23.

hoho hoho.

psychedelic art to reflect my state of mind.

2010-09-07T07:13:00.000-07:00

It's quite fun to learn ai de zhu chang xiu =D even though it's depressing to see my unflexible ( or is it inflexible? ) body in the mirror trying to make cool shoulder actions and gah, pelvic thrust. Everytime i get to that part i look like a wobbly piece of blobby jelly.

the dance is nice~~

i have been slightly productive today =D moo! i shall rejoice in that. for half an hour.

2010-09-04T20:15:00.000-07:00

I realise that I really really really dislike accounting. bah. just counting money yesterday (aish too bad it's not my money D=) made me go crazy and miss half of ghost whisperer D=

And there's still the spreadsheet to edit later. booo spreadsheets and uncooperative numbers.

I should like to play with photoshop the whole day. Photoshop is really fun and less annoying than like microsoft excel. which is a confusing mess of numbers.

and yes I should be mugging. D= but sigh.

我在这个世界拼命些什么

累死我

我有双不听任何命运的耳朵
却享受快乐加上自由的我
我要变成一个透明的石头
我不会动也不会痛

我们不哭

2010-09-03T08:13:00.000-07:00

I just spent the whole night counting badges and being pessimistic and negative about everything. D= Losing myself in old songs I used to listen when I was a happier person. Without a budget that makes me hungry but enables me to achieve greater things. Without having to care about whether I’ll have paths to walk in the future. Without having to worry constantly about things people don’t give a heck about out of sheer responsibility.

Bah.

I don’t like people who run away from reality permanently. I’m all for momentary escapades, but permanently eloping from the truth is just plain irritating.

Perhaps all I need is time.

Or perhaps, time can’t cure anything.

我们不哭, 在回家後的房间. 承受能让所有伤痛少一点

life sucks and then you die.

2010-09-01T06:53:00.000-07:00

one of my favourite songs sung by two of my favourite people =D life is good. at least the life that goes on in my head.

reality is disgusting.

I really cannot stand it anymore! If you choose to ask a person burdened with the Nine Letter Syndrome to do work for you, then you *&!@*&!#@^ expect that person to be a busy person who doesn’t have all the time in the world for you. If you expect efficiency, then don’t expect a servant. I’m not even being slacker or anything! I’m do everything I can for you in the fastest possible time, trying to make sure there’s no mistakes, and yes, trying to protect the interests of my peers and preventing you from taking advantage of them, because yes I could see right from the beginning that nothing good was coming out of this. And yes, because you didn’t look any more reliable than a tree that just got burned to a cinder.
If you think it’s easy, then why don’t you try it yourself! Hello, it was you who wanted to drag this on and on in the first place, and you expect me to play along with you. Fine, I can crawl along with you, but isn’t it very unreasonable to expect me to toss my chips onto the table and end the game when you say so? I’m not your slave, and yes I have a life too. If you’re unable achieve even basic punctuality, then don’t even take part and make life hell for other people who would be much better off not knowing you.
Once again, if you can’t commit, don’t commit. And if you can’t do it well, then you jolly well don’t do it.

2010-09-01T02:38:00.001-07:00

shuai-ness. and pretty-ness at the same time.

sigh.

I will keep calm and exercise self restraint. and no i'm not interested in her that way.

Nine Letters.

2010-09-01T02:25:00.001-07:00

I was eagerly awaiting the day when I would be able to type "nine letters later I am a lighter person" with a big smiley, but that day has come and I am going to say

nine letters later my burdens are still there.

nine letters. The first time I said those words, i was sitting in front of a crowd twiddling my thumbs and counting the number of letters in my head trying not to embarrass myself in front of everybody.

The last time i say those words, well, i don't know when the last time will be but i know those nine letters have been much more of a burden than a blessing.

sigh.

the last wish.

2010-08-31T04:46:00.000-07:00

ah, teachers' day.

Happy teacher's day teachers!

Went back to yhps and realised that the whole place changed so much.

And being there made me remember a lot of things. Those little details i never realised were still in my head. Ah well. And the board outside the GO was epic.... it was what made me actually go inside in the first place. heh never expected the school to do such strange things.

primary schools are interesting places. Strange, yes and funny too, but they contain many of my best memories.

And bowling after that! although we nearly went pool.... but i seem to have found some of what i was looking. And my bowling improved today! 79,65. much better than my usual 50 plus scores. hoho but only one strike. lala~

bowling shall be my second favourite recreational activity after 10 dollar club.

but if i could wish, and if the wish could come true, i would wish xinlei's last wish ten thousand times and draw ten thousand magic lamps to make it come true.

if only.

but i know it won't, because it's too late now. i don't know if it's a worthy sacrifice, but i think it has contributed to me having what i have today. although i'm not sure if this is what i would rather have. it was a bad decision, and a hard one to make, but if i could go back in time, i would really consider the other option.

On the other hand, the braces decision is one that i'm going to make after eoys. I like my fangs, but sadly the rest of the world doesn't think so.

why are fangs ugly?

i hope i don't choose wrongly again.

2010-08-29T07:55:00.000-07:00

It is 10.55.

I have been cheated. I was reading xue shan fei hu, then i was thinking " oh die still got half the book left" then i realised that i was only three pages to the end cos the other half of the book was actually another story =.= bish.

but it is a nice story la just that the ending is like wth...... end with that kind of annoying question some more.

ah well.

one more week of slavery to the b and i will be a free person. ( i hope)

hohohohoho.

listening to zhu wo sheng ri kuai le is reminding me of my ex-life. and yes i do listen to it on my birthday... isn't that the point?

hoho.

2010-08-28T20:43:00.000-07:00

It is a lazy Sunday morning and I am feeling lazy.

And annoyed by bb.

and i have not been keeping to my schedule.

bah

if you were still here.

2010-08-27T01:18:00.000-07:00

他霸占了你的心中

属于我的角落

所以你说我们不是你和我....

是我想太多, 你总这样说

但你却没有真的心疼我

是我想太多, 我也这样说

这是唯一能安慰我的理由

－李玖哲＜想太多＞　

难道，我走到这里，就该放弃了？　感觉我们之间的距离越来越远，你好像已经不是我曾经认识的那个人了。有想过，要用回忆锁住你，但我知道，我根本没有能力这么做，也没有权力这么做。

想捉紧你，是怕你会离开，是怕你会被欺负，是怕你误交损友，毁了你给自己的一切。我这种出自于真心的举动，　或许你永远不会看到，感受到。我好像渐渐走出你生活的框框，但你却一点也不知情。或许这是你想要的，或许你根本不知道，或许我们缘分已尽。　

如果当初我没有做出那样的选择，你应该还会是我认识的那个人。

我第一次愿意为友情付出这么多，偏偏却让我遇上了热爱自由的风筝。越是想捉紧，你就越快飞走。　　　　

No steam from the ears

2010-08-25T07:12:00.000-07:00

two years of such nerve wrecking experiences have trained me well. I never felt like that in sec one and two ever due to the presence of pro people like con. Still.... can't do anything about it now.
But yes, i have learnt from my experiences, and yes, i promise to stay calm.
if this had happened in sec 3, i think i would have been steaming from the ears by now.

i WILL keep calm.

Stuck trains

2010-08-23T06:57:00.000-07:00

Every time I see an SMS from _______, I get this sinking feeling in my heart. _____ is the only person who has successfully managed to achieve this effect on me. Congratulations _____! You’ve successfully made my life even more enjoyable than it originally was.
And then there’s the Grad Night problem. No idea what’s happening, no idea what’s going to happen, the whole Grad Night is a train that got stuck on the rails, with its wheels covered in ice. Despite the fact that it has a truckload of coal and a engine all fired up to go, it remains unmoving, like the train in Lionboy.
If only I wasn’t sitting in the driver’s cabin.
The world is filled with people who fail to understand the importance of exam season. Of sec 4 exam season. These people have developed this strange mindset that all their fellow human beings are able to cope with a dozen other things and take exams at the same time, then frown on the human beings when they don’t do as well as they should. And they come up with reasons like, “oh, you didn’t try hard enough”, and “oh, you didn’t prioritise your time properly”. But the problem is that the humans weren’t even given the opportunity to try, because they had no time! They could not prioritise their time because they had no time to even start with in the first place.
Some people need to understand.

On to slightly happier matters.
XueShanFeiHu is getting more interesting. It has a strange English name, Flying Fox something. The middle parts are a lot nicer than the front part, which made me terribly confused due to the appearance of like ten new characters in one chapter, who were all related to each other in some complicated way. The best thing was, Hu Fei didn’t even appear until chapter 4 or something. And he’s the main character.
I think what I don’t really like about XSFH as compared to the condor books is how rigid the characters are. And how they keep going back in time to tell long stories! When huyidao and mianrenfeng were fighting, they were obviously not enemies but they were so rigid and inflexible in following their initial idea of killing each other that they didn’t even consider just giving up and becoming friends, when they were so obviously interested in being friends. Bahhh that’s the annoying thing. And too bad they got killed in the end hah. And the long stories are really long. And confusing. And the people all have double names. I think each book should come with a character map at the beginning.
Ahh. But it’s my first time reading wuxia without watching the show first (Y) good job Yan Ni. I still think SheDiao is the best.
Moo.

Screw it

2010-08-22T05:26:00.000-07:00

Oh no i just did a stupid thing again....i really wasnt looking....and i really hope she knows what a stupid bobo i am and wont think that i dao her on purpose....freak freak freak....
Yan ni ah. Why you always do such stupid malu things to people who dont need to see your stupid side. Boooo slap you!

Gah i think i was too obsessed with thinking about the five bucks book at popular then i walked right past...and she waved at me!
Rah. Where got people so lucky see twice a day de?
Bahhhhhhhhhh i want to move house

secret happiness.

2010-08-20T03:50:00.000-07:00

I am secretly happy about the 15.

okay shh.

shall not tell people anymore.

But I am really happy! Didn't expect such a fantastic wonderful thing. Compared to the 7 last time, this 15 is like totally amazing.

yay you can do it!

I have regained more of my lost confidence.

And i have randomly realised that jay chou looked quite cute in his early mvs, when his hair was done nicely =D

2010-08-18T03:35:00.000-07:00

it's quite unexciting to be sick when there's map reading quiz and chem quiz tmr.

it's even more unexciting when there's like stuff to do, so i can't sleep it off.

telfast i love you.

mugger's horrors

2010-08-17T07:13:00.000-07:00

Make your own Countdown Clocks

the kite.

2010-08-16T02:19:00.000-07:00

Perhaps this is all like flying a kite.

The tighter I try to hold on to the string, the closer it gets to breaking point. The more I try to pull it away from the trees, the more it struggles to get there.

I guess, it is time to let go.

The kite is, after all, an object of freedom, which cannot be tied down by selfish wants and desires. Perhaps, if i twist the string loosely around my fingers, it will stay with me.

Yet I can never get used to the idea of the kite belonging to the blue sky, to the clouds, and not to me only. I always thought that i would be able to keep it by my side as long as I held on tightly enough.

But the string has betrayed me, and the kite has flown away.

I can still see it, dancing among the clouds, but it is no longer mine.

Letting go is difficult.

what's wrong with you!

2010-08-15T03:52:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's just me, but I REALLY CANNOT UNDERSTAND HOW PEOPLE CAN WORK LIKE THIS!

the service industry is about efficiency. It's about making your customers happy. If i were a customer i'll be pissed off at the severe lack of efficiency. and now I'm the one feeling bad about not being able to give people what they want when it's like freaky not my fault and why should i be the one being questioned by people when i didn't even do anything and it's those people who're holding up the entire line and not feeling the slightest but guilty and sounding like they're big bosses and everything's expected. wts.

if you don't have the time and the energy to commit, then don't commit.

it's just a waste of other people's time and energy. People who actually have better things to do than waste time with you.

the balloon.

2010-08-11T07:53:00.000-07:00

The system is a balloon. It is shiny on the outside but on the inside, there is nothing more than a load of hot air.

who will be the one with the needle?

BB...Book?

2010-08-09T07:11:00.000-07:00

Today is a strange day.

I was getting unnecessarily stressed up and annoyed with the BB stuff. I'm quite aware of the fact that I shouldn't even be letting it bother me, because it is an unnecessary part of my life, which I only have to live with because I was too soft hearted to say no. Well, lesson learned. I'm never going to get myself involved in such affairs again, not with the same people at least. I might consider it if it was with squadmates, but anyway.

It just bothers me that commitments don't end after fdp, and it bothers me because I don't feel comfortable doing such things and it is just not in my league and I really don't like it. and i was, and still am annoyed with the inefficiency of the whole matter and the people who apparently don't think the same way I do, and don't work the same way I do, and take me for an omnipresent piece of wood.

then I had to resort to simple plan to calm myself down again.

the last time I simple plan-ed was like eons ago... like during the stressed out invest period.

look at the impact bb has on my life. D=

anyway, on to happier (not really) stuff. After pau's house today, i was walking past the je popular when i realised that they were having clearance sale and there were like exciting discounts, so being the true bookworm that I am, i went into the shop and started poking around all the books. (i realise that poking around is the best way to scavenge for good books~ the last time i did that i found so many exciting books in the library =D) and i discovered that the hotshot book was going at $5! that's like a 75% discount...... and there was like 30% discount for jodi picoult and the mitch albom books. bah all the books that i want to read but can never seem to locate in the library.

sigh. If life went my way, I would ask everyone to just buy me books for presents. skip the soft toys and the funny little things (although they are cute~) and give me books! I want to drown in books.....

2010-08-08T23:33:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday Singapore =D you rock!

Yes, happy birthday singapore! (and happy birthday pau!)

I'm thankful for my singapore :)

2010-08-07T00:43:00.000-07:00

insensitivity.

you cannot see, can you? See that not everyone lives the same way you do.

what would you do if someone broke that silver spoon?

Flung it onto the ground and stomped on it.

though provoking.

2010-08-06T06:23:00.000-07:00

Cross Country~

The route wasn't as bad as I expected, but the hilly/muddy/jungle-ish parts brought back memories of sibayak~ Which was not good since sibayak got scary on the way down when it was raining....

and yes, thank you squadmates for being there at the end and running with me (although yall finished running alr!) I love you squadmates!

谢谢你鼓励我勇气是你给我让我迈开脚步一起往前走!

no matter what, i think squadmates are still the best xD. that's why they're not friends, they're squadmates! whee.

and I was sad about not going to tendollarclub! ( my love for 10dollarclub is as obvious as my inability to run!) but the nice deli potato sponsored by my mama sort of made up for my sadness teehee. yay I love deli potatoes! even though they're like small and kind of cheat money but yea they're nice!

then we went to watch 唐山大地震.

it's kind of like the first movie that made me all sad and teary. aww. but half of the people in the cinema were crying quite openly....

the movie was thought provoking. and i felt so unjustified for the girl at first, but then i realised that the mother couldn't really do anything about it so there was no choice! but the poor girl!

and at the end when the woman decided to cut of her daughter's leg, then she said, 如果以后她恨我，　就让她恨吧。　i was so gan dong-ed!!

T.T it made me think about all the issues in the Chinese society, and well, ....

it made me selfishly grateful that i don't have siblings.

sigh.

i think i still prefer inception~

inception and my broken wings

2010-08-04T05:28:00.000-07:00

Blocks over whee! yay i shall not torture myself by thinking about the screwed papers. hoho.

x-country on friday... T.T i am sadly reminded of my inability to run long distances. boo.

INCEPTION! TODAY! great movie =D

The concept of "what's real and what's not" is cool, and the dream in a dream thing is really intriguing. It's the kind of interesting concept that makes me think properly, a different sort of thinking from the math kind. Boo they should show such interesting conceptual movies in schools =D i like concepts, especially conceptual movies and conceptual photography! the deviantart conceptual photographs are really really nice=D

oh no I am digressing.

okay.

But i guess what really made me like this movie was not the psychological concept parts, but more of the architecture part.

It sort of revived my broken architect dreams, but PHYSICS D= D= i get sad every single time i think about physics. sigh. If only hc let could let us take physics D= D= D=

Maybe it's strange, but i was really excited at the part where Dom was telling ariadne that they city is up to her to create. gosh. it's like the unlimited possibilities thing....... ahhhh - swoons and faints- and then they had interesting things like the whole city flipping over plus the penrose staircase! omg loved the penrose stairs. XD

yay inception!

sigh. how cruel it is to give someone a dream with broken wings.

2010-07-30T06:32:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Xiaozhu!

No matter how old you are, you'll always be the young and funny xiaozhu to me XD.

Thank you, for always managing to put a smile on my face by doing all the funny and strange things you do ( I shall be inspired by you to become even more weird and gay!) and dazzling me with your shuai-ness and for being the reason behind my bedroom looking like a poster exhibition gallery.

=D may you get shuai-er and cooler and funny and you'll be my 亚洲舞王 forever!

And yes,

Happy Birthday (gay) Glenda!

i didn't forget you lor! and yes, my name is not bob! If my name is bob, your name is rick. Like spongeBOB and patRICK. Then again, I don't want to be spongebob ( although i secretly would like to have a pet snail) and patrick doesn't wear shirts.

hoho.

have fun in the sixteen club! (before i join and terrorise you there. hee. )

IHIH

2010-07-28T03:29:00.001-07:00

Life is just starting to get worse, or is it?

I realise that the old songs (okay maybe not so old), the ones that I can listen to ten thousand times without getting annoyed, are the ones that keep me calm and prevent me from having a nervous breakdown.

True, xiaozhu songs are great at getting me all high and crazy, but sometimes, all I need is a comforting old song that reminds me of the past and ties myself back to the old me.

I used to listen to these songs a lot, back then when my old comp couldn't access youtube and I had to wait ten thousand years to hear them on the radio. And i would record them in my old mp3 (which is still around XD) and listen and listen and listen.

There are some things I'll never be good at, and i just happened to have discovered one more to join the club. Sort of prepared to screw up tomorrow, and sort of prepared to screw up for the rest of my secondary education, but yet sort of unwilling to give up.

It's like PE. every new module I tell myself I'm not going to allow myself to be hopeless, but I end up being a lost cause every lesson anyway.

thank goodness geog and econs are allowed to stick together.

but sigh physics.

fanyichen!

2010-07-26T08:30:00.000-07:00

watching baiwandagexing just now reminded me of the fact that i used to like fanyichen. but his new hairstyle and hair colour now is kind of... er not very much to my liking. ah.

I used to like him when i liked lishengjie and all the rest of the not-shuai-songs-super-nice people =D

he looks kind of zhuai in the pic =O

曾经孤单加上孤单是爱火 燃烧过你和我 如今沉默加上沉默更沉默 再没有什么舍不得

--范逸臣-放生

tv marathon!

2010-07-24T18:39:00.000-07:00

Yay I have been productive! Three quarters of rivers notes done! ( and they’re like three mind maps long =.= die already lahz)

Yesterday was TV marathon! From 7 to 9 there was Ai, which is the most omnipresent and annoying bobo thing ever =.= ( but Hongyuan = XD!) and then after that there was the strange show about the people with eating disorders which wasn’t very interesting either.

And then at 9.30 there was duo mao mao! Mayday! And ashin’s eyes are still….. @.@ hee but the spongebob cake is super cute! I would like to have one too! Yays! And mayday was pro even though they only got three people. The measuring tape in the radio idea was cool! I wish xiaozhu went duo mao mao more often! I only remember the one on the ship where he danced the dalang dance. Hoho.

At 10.30 there was ghost whisperer! Yay ghost whisperer! Althought yesterday’s plot was kind of less interesting than the previous few, but the thingy about “someone’s going to die” is going to continue next week! I bet it’ll be cool. And the spirit board concept is rather… interesting? After ghost whisperer I went to watch the last half of curse of the golden flower!

Jay chou looked strange in the movie. And gong li was well, obscene. Her clothes ah…. Tsk tsk. But the visuals were freaking good! The armour and the costumes and the field of chrysanthemums, and the flowers being squished and the ninjas flying around. And omg the blood dripping onto the chrysanthemums was kind of cool and sad and scary~ maybe I’m starting to appreciate zhang yimou films more … In sec ½ we watched hero and I didn’t even understand the concept until like near the end of the film… sad T.T

hoho. tv marathons are possible even without cable!

squidmates love!

2010-07-23T20:27:00.000-07:00

ㄧ个人的时候在陌生的街
头抬头看著繁星夜垂的天空
I know I know
地球另一端有你陪我
谢谢你鼓励我勇气是你给我
让我迈开脚步一起往前走
I know I know
你是我的OK绷在每一个时候
一直陪著我

squadmates <3

2010-07-23T05:40:00.000-07:00

Argh I shouldn't have borrowed the yangjiajiang book!

It revived my interest in yangjiajiang~ and then i went to watch the mv on youtube. and the moment i saw the scene where they wheeled in the corpses and then the wives started screaming and liulang went " hai er bu xiao!" i started tearing T.T

i cried like pails and buckets watching that show.

haiz.

sadddd. i want to watch it properly!

2010-07-22T03:32:00.000-07:00

I feel kind of free today. Although it is highly possible that it is a mere delusion and that I am trying to deliberately not see the chem worksheets and math paper in my bag.

But still, -smiles-

after the grossly screwed up zuowen today, i suppose i should take a break, have a mini cornetto ( yay mini cornettos! hurray for mini cornettos!) and laugh a bit.

2010-07-20T03:22:00.000-07:00

This race is ruining my health.

Running Barefooted.

2010-07-18T00:56:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I wonder if it's actually worth it to keep running like this.

I'm getting tired, more and more exhausted every second of this race but my competitors never seem to slow down. I push myself on, faster and faster, catching up, but never surpassing.

My muscles are on fire, I can't breathe properly, and I don't even know if I'm running in a straight line anymore. All that matters is the fact that I am still in this race.

And I am running barefooted, against the runners wearing running shoes which give them an extra lift every step they take. With every step I take, I wince as my soles come in contact with the stones and pebbles on the floor. My feet are wet and sticky, but I do not have time to look back at the bloodied footprints I leave behind. How much have I lost in this race? How much blood, sweat and tears wasted for this lost cause?

I cannot look back. I must look forward, must surpass them at all costs. even at the cost of my health, my life. I cannot stop, not even when I know I can never beat them. They gave me this chance, gave me the capabilities to show the world that the privileged don't always win, and I must fulfil their expectations. There's no turning back now.

I started running, and now I can't stop.

Apples.

2010-07-17T21:09:00.000-07:00

I always tell myself to choose carefully, then i end up choosing the wrong ones. or maybe this is one whole basket of rotten apples. So no matter what apples I choose, I end up eating it and dying.

Responsibility refers to the obligation to satisfactorily complete or perform a task. I see you lack it.
I don't mind having to remind you, or even delegate tasks if you lack the spontaneity to do it, but now you're not even doing ANYTHING! Why should I care more about this than you!? Why should i burden myself with all this work, and go crazy trying to shoulder the workload of three others myself?! Why do you always disappear into nothingness? So what if you're busy?! Am I not busy too? And if you have time to be talking away on facebook, I infer that you're just running away from the problem. Running away from responsibility.

what's wrong with the entire stupid basket of apples!

POP

2010-07-16T08:50:00.000-07:00

It’s over.

NYNP is like a movie. It’s a long movie that doesn’t make a lot of sense, but is still nice to watch, just for the sake of laughing out loud. The cinema seats are horribly expensive, and the cinema food isn’t exactly great, but the movie is the best I’ve ever watched in my whole entire life.

Although today got a little teary (0.0), but it was a great day! Even though it rained, even though we didn’t get mark 5, even though important vips couldn’t attend, even though we were kind of F41L, but ahahaha we made it through POP!

Thank you unit, for the presents, and the performances, and everything you’ve done =D

And thank you squadmates, for our weird POP performances each year, for having roller chair races, for understanding my noobness, for taking unglam photos and documentaries of one another, for inventing words like bobo and b**b, for drawing obscene pictures, for singing out of tune, for dancing cheng yao, for having squad picnics, for coming up with strange nicknames, for being gay, for cheering, for dancing yeah wo shi superman, for screaming like crazy loonies, for slacking away in kap with giant camp bags, for going on present material buying excursions, for inventing rabbit island, for being tall short slim fat together as one, for being kings of the jungle, for mgyg dances, for laughing at me, for embarrassing ourselves in public with our big squad size, for being there,

And for being part of fortyone.

I don’t regret NYNP.

squadmates

2010-07-13T06:05:00.000-07:00

Squadmates,

I just wanted to tell you that, no matter what happens, yall were my squadmates, are my squadmates, and will always be my squadmates.

labels. by 41.

labels are,

veils and masks

for sweat,

for blood

for tears never shed.

labels are,

plasters and bandages,

for hurt,

for injustice

for many misgivings.

labels are,

shields and defenses,

for doubt

for discrimination,

for anger hurling.

labels are,

what we're made of,

why we're ripped up

how we stand strong.

and our spirit lives on.

squadmates.

转角遇到爱

2010-07-12T05:52:00.000-07:00

I miss ZhuanJiao! although that's quite a stupid thing to do, since I can watch it online anytime. But there's just something about being able to watch it on TV.
Every single time I watch an episode of zhuan jiao, it brings out my passion for drawing again. I'm sort of aware that I'm a lousy drawing person ( i thought a person who draws = drawer, then i realised it's not like that o.o) but then, sigh. Passion is bad for my schedule. Passion for the piano when i am a horrible player and passion for pencil on paper when I'm a horrible artist and passion for words when i am a terrible writer. (lols look at the state of AVO! the story is going nowhere. ) The drawings in zhuanjiao are super super nice! even nicer than some of the manga drawings i used to like.... and the best thing is that they all have hidden meanings, which are nice and romantic.

gosh.

告白没有最佳的时机，只有最佳的那个人 - 转角遇到爱

2010-07-11T00:06:00.000-07:00

为何要选择攻击我的弱点？那件事让我折腾了很久，让我遗憾了不少，你却在我已经决定放弃时，重新钩起回忆，难道你不会觉得太残忍了吗？不管你怎样，我可以尽量忍，我可以不在乎，但这件事实在有点过分，甚至有点像在伤口上撒盐。或许，你不会明白这件事在我心里有多重要，因为这是你无法体会的感觉。　就因为这样，你就有权利抹黑我那些稀少，又珍贵的回忆吗？你不明白，我为何这么小心翼翼地珍藏所有的回忆　因为那是梦想，那是曾经拥抱过，却又摔坏了的梦想。　
太过分了。　　

how much is it worth?

2010-07-10T20:53:00.000-07:00

I am being an unproductive cow again. There is IH essay tomorrow and I can’t afford to screw it up again. D= IH is the bane of my existence. I wouldn’t mind actually taking physics in exchange. Although physics is ?!?!?! but yea, it’s definitely better than risky scary IH.

Technically, I should go and do my research and be prepared. But I am lazy.

I thought of changing my blog to wretch cc, but sigh, the thought of having to get wretchcc account and then create the blog again puts me off. Then again, blogger seems to be getting boring, and I don’t like lj.

And the cute wang fu song I heard in Taiwan is playing on the radio =O yay Taiwan.

I wished I had gone yesterday. They said no photographs and no handshakes, but still….. But he was wearing shades, so I wouldn’t have been able to see his eyes anyway. Argh his eyes are !!!! =D Somehow, I am torn in between going even obsessed to telling myself to tone down a bit. These things, they come in waves. One moment, you could be ready to give up your entire life, and the next moment you could be feeling totally neutral. It was this crazy high feeling that made me pick up that horribly expensive book in Taiwan, walk to the cashier and pay for it without second thoughts. It was the crazy high feeling that made me pay for the 23 bucks album without thinking twice, when I don’t even consider going for 20 dollar kbox because the price is way too high. I know, ten years later, when I look back on this, I’ll probably scold myself for wasting all the money and time on someone who isn’t aware of my existence. But right now, everything seems worth it

因为想一个人而寂寞,
因为爱一个人而温柔,
因为有一个梦而执着,
因为等一个人而折磨,
因为想一个人而解脱,
因为爱一个人而宽容,
因为有一个梦而放纵,
因为等一个人而漂泊.

2010-07-09T21:40:00.000-07:00

If one is born to die,

one wakes to sleep,

one laughs to cry,

then i wish i never met you.

For thee, for me II

2010-07-08T02:13:00.000-07:00

I really have no idea what went wrong along the way.

Is it my fault, our fault or your fault?

The old saying goes, " it's not your fault, it's 'our' fault ", so is it really our fault?

We planned hard and we had big dreams at first. before we met you, we already had all our plans drawn out. We thought , or maybe it's just me we would be special, even though our bonds would not be as strong, even though there would be many things you would not understand.

But everything that has happened has somehow led me to believe that we would never be special. I never expected perfection.

If i had expected to see any part of perfection, i would not have made that choice in the first place. If I had expected perfection, I would not have been so gan dong-ed the first time i heard you say those three words. If i had expected perfection, I would not have given chances and closed one eye so many times.

You may not see it, but behind every little incident or every little mistake you may dismiss with a wave of your hand and an apologetic look, there lies inches of exasperation you do not see. Exasperation is perhaps, the best word i can think of now. It's resignation, plus sadness, plus anger and a little helplessness. That feeling of wanting to throw in the towel, but yet somehow clinging on to the shrinking hope that things would get better.

Oh what should i do?

2010-07-07T05:32:00.000-07:00

Gosh. I really wanted to go *scape to see xiaozhu. Haiz. but blocks are coming and there's like a TON of homework and stuff and not to mention POP.

Today i picked up the papers after school, and then i was looking at them on the bus. I thought i wouldn't be disappointed, but I am.

regretfully, i have nothing to say.

Kbox before POP.

2010-07-05T07:47:00.000-07:00

I am going to take a break from math applications.

Today's Kbox was amazing! Yay! (kbox with squids is always amazing =D) I love tendollar ktv! wheee.

Steamboat for lunch was hilarious! I wonder what's with fortyone and steamboat! and anyway it was quite interesting to see the many different styles of eating steamboat - the "let's put in the fish slices slowly and nicely and make sure they're cooked properly" style, the "let's dump in everything, heck care la" style, and the "eh, whatever you do don't splash soup on me" style. haiz. squadmates are really funny lol. And steamboat food was nice! and thank you clarissa for lending us your house with the interesting posters on the walls. ( the "i like exams" one is rather thought provoking... hmmm)

and then we went for KTV! and sang non stop for like 5 hours or something. and more squids came and we were all being gay and weird in the small room (which wasn't really that small) and jap loving squids kept dian-ing a lot of jap songs which turned out to be not the songs they wanted hoho~ and we danced gayly.

And then we went home and I wanted to have an experiment with squids to see whether the red-green line would be faster than the red-yellow line. ( which goes to bishan to marymount to buona vista). So i went onto the red-green line route and we were supposed to sms each other when we reached jurongeast to see who's faster. So then at city hall i looked at the mrt line map and then I SAW IT! the map said the marymount to buona vista part of the yellow line was "NOT COMPLETED YET" omg damn funny eh. heh laugh at squids~

but anyway, no matter what you know I still love you squids. even though yall do many funny things sometimes ( like walking into pillars and playing audi inside ktv rooms and singing weirdly o.o) . Because I am in no way less weird than squids! me with my bunny bag (yes I do agree that it is spastic like me =.= because go out with gay people must carry gay bag mah) and spastic expressions!

you see, it's all squids' fault for making me the spastic retarded mess I am today.

squadmates ah~

Sinking Stone

2010-07-03T04:56:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I feel like I'm bearing the entire weight of this whole... thing upon my shoulders, even if it's not supposed to turn out like this. How I prevent a sinking stone from sinking? People from everywhere press it down with their fallacies, their assumptions and the biased and twisted opinions. We are nothings, nothing worth noting. We blend in the background, forgotten and hidden, remembered only when you need us. What point is there in existing, when existence has the solitary purpose of being stepped on. We are only part of the scenery to the place where everyone wants to go.

And it becomes my responsibility to put us on the stage under the razzmatazz of publicity. The mistakes of our predecessors are imprinted on people's opinions towards us, and try as I might, they are hard to erase.

As much as I am panting under the weight I carry upon my shoulders, I am afraid to give it up and pass it on, for fear that one fatal mistake would bring everything crashing down all over again.

I hope the sinking stone stays afloat, under all odds, under gravity. One day, we will prevail.

For thee, for me.

2010-07-02T06:47:00.000-07:00

I know I made that choice. In a way, I have never regretted it. I don't regret telling them that I wanted nobody else, I don't regret all the anger and disappointment and exasperation along the way. It's been a short journey for us, compared to the others, but still, every single bit of it was worth it.

However, I can't deny that there are the times when I wished you could give us a little more emotional reassurance. Or maybe it's just me. But somehow, I envy the relationship they share, which I know I can never build up with you. It's not your fault. It's just that they are well, more inclined to such stuff than you are. To me, it's the emotional bonding that matters, how much we learn to care for each other, how many of those moments we can share, despite our differences, despite the vast barriers that stand between us.

We didn't have enough time, and we were destined right from the beginning to not have enough time. The bonds, if they have ever existed, will be broken by separation even before they solidify.

If you gave me a second chance, I would still make that wilful, and seemingly obstinate statement that ties me to you today. At that point in time, I was sure I had made the right choice. And looking back today, I know I did.

Thank you for everything. Really.

2010-06-30T01:20:00.000-07:00

O.o I cam home early today~ And then i realised that the 2003 yitian was showing on TV. Alec Su is ( or should it be was?) still shuai as wuji! hoho.

maybe all wujis are destinied to be shuai so they can make all the girls fall in love with them! Anyway, the 2003 zhiruo is like ten times prettier than the 2009 one can, but the 2003 plot looks weird. Since when was yangxiao the leader of ming jiao.... o.o and then the show ended and the ending theme song was called.... 爱上张无忌! lol i was amused.

here it is!

on a more serious note,

I really don't know how it can turn out like this time AFTER time. It's not the first time, but I don't think it will ever be the last. Will it?

I had such high hopes for you.

2010-06-28T06:59:00.000-07:00

A new term has started! ( and the new cantenn is 0.0)

But anyway, I must be motivated!! RAWR motivated motivated.

Things to commit to:

1. POP

2. Grad Nite Planning~~

3. Badges

4. Studying (lol. )

anyway I shall attempt not to be distracted by things like hzgg (looks impossible) and xiaozhu ( impossible lah! but i shall try not to be too feng1~ ) and maybe i should hide my itouch somewhere.

anyway term 3 is an exciting term, with exciting things like ydff and TD course (=.=) and yay KTV!!!

if i manage to achieve what I want, maybe i will buy myself a stage shirt =D whee.

放過自己放過壓抑
放過整天附身的記憶
往事通緝孤單侵襲
習慣就可以

Make your own Countdown Clocks

school and corners.

2010-06-27T02:35:00.000-07:00

School is starting tomorrow.

BLEH. how gross.

I wish school would never start haiz. i am still sleep deprived. and i regret not watching juon D=mooo

Was watching corner again today.... it's so SADDDD T.T argh. and xiaozhu was very shuai again as usual. Although i think he cried a bit too much. but still... sigh. I really must get down to watching hai pai one of these days. rawr. pity my budget does not allow for the purchase of the DVD, or else there would be no stopping me once i got my DVD. muahaha~ And it's annoying that I haven't finished my death note and I don't have time to watch it anymore but i want to know the ending! (actually I know it already, just that I can't remember how they arrived at the ending. bish.)

And later i shall go pack my bag (o.o gay bag!) and i think my printer is going to go crazy from printing IH asg, r and r and bio asg and all the other random stuff.

bohohoho.

跌倒, 也要豪迈地笑, 爬起来, 继续往前走  - <转角.遇到爱>

i'll remember this.

2010-06-23T09:54:00.000-07:00

unproductiveness.

2010-06-21T08:10:00.000-07:00

First day of last week!

This has been a very unproductive holiday.
Things I have done:
1. (most of) my homework
2. finished learning ai zhuan jiao ( but still not very familiar D=)
3. tried anne rice -who is not a food! (and disliked it)
4. bought itouch and played with it
5. remembered the existence of revision booklet
6. dug out random sec 3 stuff (to clutter my table)
7. written 3 chapters of AVO ( 2 of which were written in toba 0.0)
8. read approximately like 7 books or sth. (yay 2 hzgg)
9. discovered oil pastels

Things I have not done:
1. been productive about latin
2. revised the stuff we're supposed to revise! oh dear.
3. been exercising
4. learnt aidezhuchangxiu
5. been drawing properly (lol i said i would D=)
6. organised my hard drive (it is uber messsy)
7. managed to live without feeling like the XXX XXX.
8. changed lyrics for squids
9. more photoshop
10. did GM ppt

BISH. Yan Ni ah.

sigh.
i rediscovered jaychou and fangwenshan!
因为大声说爱你而沙哑 =D

2010-06-17T05:38:00.000-07:00

Your Vampire Name (Girls)

Maeve "intoxicating"

You enjoy anything that deals with the arts or history. Your intelligent, wise, and you have the rare gift of balancing your emotions and your mind. You are a very aloof and secretive person and you have a hard time trusting others. Those who are lucky enough to be your friend are considered worthy of your trust and they are very few. But once you do open up you are a self-sacrificing friend. Men adore you for your originality, intellegence & independence and they love a good mystery.

Fun quizzes, surveys & blog quizzes by

i be amused!

not alone.

2010-06-16T06:06:00.000-07:00

Don't worry. You'll never be alone.

-Faolin 15/06/10

A moment of inspiration from QinLang, and the beauty of oil pastels.

2010-06-13T20:14:00.001-07:00

two hours later and i am still bushuang about it. ROAR. ROAR ROAR!
Why why why!
why don't they look at it using the viewpoint of an nyperson! Do i look like i have a lot of free time to run errands for you! i have better things to do! If i was truly interested in this kind of thing, I would have started my own! I would have my own porject and put my name under OT ! isn't THAT the point?
look, i don't even know why i made the decision to get involved in this. I thought, okay maybe i'll help out this person, do a few simple tasks, and take it that i'm just doing you a favour. And then you go on and make demands here and there, add on new things that were not in the contract, act like you're the boss. Hello?! I'm the person doing the work yeah! coming up with ideas is easy. Let's sell bubble tea, sell ice cream, sell candy, make button badges, make keychains, make whatever the heck. But hello! it's easier said than done.
Everyone knows how to come up with ideas, but people who come up with ideas should also know how to make the ideas work.

These people

2010-06-13T18:33:00.000-07:00

I really dont get these people!!! What is wrong with them? I'm not a slave, i'm doing you a favour are you sure you ahould be treating me like this? And guess what? I dont really care for
the fantastic rewards you give me because i've seen more
of them than i can possibly want to see! All i need is for you to NOT throw me all the work like i deserve it, because i wasnt even part of this in the first place!
Gah freak.

iTouch and jogging tracks.

2010-06-13T06:11:00.000-07:00

Yay iTouch yesterday!!

whee.

I love $2 budget! everyone should follow it! then will get iTouch (after 5 months lol). I sound like an insurance agent.

heh iTouch is cool and I sound like a swagu but then it's probably okay to be a swagu once in a while. especially when meeting with cool apple products (which are not budget friendly T.T )

And i went to run just now. last year i trained like siao, but it seems impossible to do so this year. time and tide wait for no man. I haven't been running since like 2.4. o.o which is really long ago. which probably explains why i was dying at the first round but then it got better and better. I shall resume my sunday running sessions. whoo.

thank you in latin is gratias tibi ago.

wheeeee

2010-06-09T05:46:00.000-07:00

finally changed skin after like 10 million billion years. o.O although this skin wasn't what i wanted in the first place, but it's not bad either la. =D

i finished the second hzgg book within like 2 days! as compared to 3 weeks for yitian.... hzgg is so easy to read!

I'm starting to like yongqi though. okay la i did always prefer him over erkang who's like serious and er less playful...heh but yongqi is so cute ( and he always seems to look more shuai - even after they changed the actors...) and the way he allows himself to be abused by xiaoyanzi is like totally amazing. i bet if it was like erkang he would have slapped her.... and he's still a prince!! =O

haiz.

hzgg is like the only non idol show ( although i do suppose the actors were idols in those days) that makes me happy and gan donged at the same time. =O like zhuanjiao! omg that one is the best. =D xiaozhu! =D =D =D

so be it.

2010-06-08T07:10:00.000-07:00

绝望到极点剩的是疲倦.

if that is how you wish it to be, then so be it.

library crazy

2010-06-07T05:51:00.000-07:00

i should either stop rotting away in the library or get more library cards. Like 10. then i could stop wasting time trying to decide which books to borrow.

like for example today.

4 books minus away 2 compulsory ones ( book for biosia plus anne rice which is necessary for self enlightenment) left 2 books.

So i was deciding between ghost stories, hzgg and yitian.... then i sort of wanted singapore collection also and then there was comics and the romantic chinese fic one which will improve my AVO writing skills and then the non fiction ones about drawing, interior design.....

SIGH.

yitian yitian!

2010-06-05T20:00:00.000-07:00

zomg finally finished reading the the yitian book.

And the ending was such a disappointment!!! D= D= although i sort of expected it (lol because i read it in wiki alr) but then still!! jinyong could have inserted more feeling into it!

freak la.

at least say what happened to them la! what did zhiruo want! did they even get married!

btw i think his hair suits him! lol nicer than all the other wuxia shows they cut bangs for the guy or give him weird partings. or totally sweep his fringe up. ugh.

this hair is nice!

who we are

2010-06-05T08:44:00.000-07:00

I really should set my priorities right.

I mean, what am I really getting into?!

I don't even know. This sounds like a suspicious thing, everything sounds suspicious when no one can prove that it will all turn out worthwhile in the end. NYNP sounded suspicious at the start, but squadmates made me sure it was worthwhile.

Who's going to thank me for all this when I'm dead and gone? Who's going to remember me as me, and not Passerby A or Stranger B? We're all just part of a crowd to other people, I guess. Like fish swimming in a sea, we are plucked out and placed on a dinner table for someone's delight and nourishment.

Admit it. When you eat fish, have you ever wondered if this fish had family, if it has a personality, a name, if it was somebody? Your main concern would probably be whether the fish was tasty enough.

It's the same. When they pluck us out of the crowd, they're only concerned about whether we can do what they want, whether we have the ability to help them, and not whether we are human, whether we have a name and whether we have a personality.

Who we are is not important.

What we can do, it seems, will eventually tell us who we are.

The Cola Wars by =caycowa on deviant ART

SINGAPORE~

2010-06-02T20:39:00.001-07:00

yay! i am back! and I love Singapore and Changi Airport and nice Singapore food and nice Singaporeans and no flies. wheeeeee =D Singapore rocks.

lake toba was nice. pretty scenery and nice boat! omg i love the boat! it's so windy and nice up there. moo. although the hotel was a bit o.O . moosh. and the batak houses are cute and they have fat and squishy chickens =D yay chickens!

and climbing sibayak the scary beary volcano was exciting. lol the height + narrow path makes HRC look like a playground activity. But the crater and the summit were super nice! ( although i lost my eggggggg =O silly egg why you roll away...)

and cow farm!! omg i love cow farm! lol my distant relatives! and super delicious milk! whee.

and marriott =D i love marriott with it's automated toilet blind thing and weighing scale and squishy big bed with 5 pillows and big tv and kettle! omg kettle!

never bluff you one ( does munning finger pointing action) wheeee.

but i still love Singapore most.

toba

2010-05-28T05:39:00.000-07:00

Flying tomorrow~~~

whee.

I am oddly unexcited.

EEEE. Being there means I'll be even further from dear pig! And still got time difference somemore!

Haiz i want to stay in the same timezone as him, even though we can't be in the same place.

byebye people.

youth.

2010-05-24T05:47:00.000-07:00

Looking back, it was a really crazy thing to do. Still, I'm sort of comforted by the fact that there are at least another few thousand people in Singapore who are like me.

But isn't this what being young is all about? Youth are crazy, reckless people! They do anything they want, often without thinking, and even though the consequences may be terrible, the memories last forever.

If I ever look back on my life, ten, twenty or even fifty years later, I want to see youth as one of the most exciting parts if life. I want to say,

When I was young, I queued for eleven hours to get an autograph from my idol!

When I was young, I went for flying fox and leapt off a seven storey tower!

When I was young, I sang KTV non stop for five hours!

When I was young, I was obsessed with all Ju-on related things!

When I was young, I dissected a pig's eye!

When I was young.......

Youth is crazy. It's not just about facing homework, watching movies and going to school. It's about doing the unexpected, the crazy, the weird!

2010-05-23T07:52:00.000-07:00

Okay. Time to calm down and get back to normal life ( and start saving up for next event of course! teehee. $2 budget here I come again =.=).

I promise to stop thinking about xiaozhu's handsome face and concentrate on the things I need to do and do them properly and become the person I was two days ago.

yay.

back to normal( or weirdness if you're talking about specifically me.)

woosh.

XIAOZHU AUTOGRAPH SESSION

2010-05-23T06:41:00.001-07:00

“新加坡爱谁？”

“罗志祥！”

“真的吗？”　

“真的！”

罗志祥的老婆们！－scream- -scream- -scream-

XIAOZHU's autograph session was a BLAST!!

11 hours of queueing and being squished was totally worth it man!

(although i wish they had phototaking but that can't be helped T.T)

Xiaozhu 你真的真的真的很帅！！！　he was so shuai when he was singing ai feng tou! i can't believe I waited for this for two years, and finally I got autograph and handshake!!!!!! XIAOZHU!!!!

I've gone up a stage lots of times in my life, but i think this is the happiest and most wonderful and most excited one!! then when i saw him like up close~~~~ ahh!! 帅翻了！！！

那种感觉很微妙，有一点被电到的感觉！就像期待已久，最终得到了的那种幸福，心里有很多话想说，却什么都说不出。。。如果有下一次，我一定再来！！　再来看你帅翻了的样子，听你唱歌，和你握手，让你签名！

but he looks tired though, probably because of concert last night. haiz. but it's okay! xiaozhu will always be super shuai and cool! and his expressions are as cute as ever in real life. i think i'm going crazy!!

小猪加油～　我爱你！

yitian, pigs and life.

2010-05-22T06:50:00.000-07:00

lol watching yitian now. aish wuji is so cute =D and heroic!! His chivalry never fails to amaze me. Haiz. Although he’s still biantai, and he keeps making empty promises to all the girls! D= tsk tsk. But I guess that’s part of his character, since jinyong did say so at the end of the book, that wuji doesn’t really know who’s his true love. AISH. Why like that.

And zhaomin is cute too! Lol the two of them are like a perfect match. =D I think I’ll wither away totally when the show the part when both of them get hurt. But qingshu is so stupid! He has like no brain totally although he’s a much more faithful guy cos he liked zhiruo throughout….unlike some people ah, think of marrying all 4 of his love interests. Bleh.

I can’t watch yitian tomorrow!!!! So saddd. But I’m giving it up for a better reason, so I guess I shouldn’t be sad.

Gosh I really really really really hope I see him tomorrow!!! 2 years already~~ and it’s my first time going for that kind of event, and I don’t know what to expect!! I WANT TO SEE HIM ~~~~~~ haiz haiz haiz.

Maybe when I’m old I’ll look back and regret and think what a foolish youth I was, but for now, it’s worth it man.

20 may

2010-05-20T08:20:00.000-07:00

20th of May marks an important day.

让我们红尘做伴活得潇潇洒洒
策马奔腾共享人世繁华
对酒当歌唱出心中喜悦
轰轰烈烈把握青春年华

＜当＞　－动力火车

haiz. I'm really obsessed with the lyrics. they say so little, but they mean such a lot.

2010-05-19T02:13:00.000-07:00

I am quite gan dong-ed.

I used to ask myself why I subjected myself to such torture. And sometimes disapppointment and wu2 nai4 to the point of puking blood. There were times when I really just didn't want to say anything anymore, because there didn't seem to be a point to saying something that no one would listen. And the risks! of being regarded as a totalitarian, dictator, etc etc. But right now i don't regret any of the cheesy ( and but quite true) things I said at that interview which landed me here in this position today.

haiz.

it's funny how life has its ups and downs. If only it could go left and right! Then i would go back and relieve taiwan and 203 and OM again! =D lol and i would go forward to see how i screw up my eoys and come back and study harder. teehee.

天上人间

2010-05-18T07:13:00.000-07:00

i dislike my sabbats D=

they are D= D= D= (mainly because cw dont have squids!! D= how sad)

and the fat one is coming back on saturday! heh don't crash the plane dear cao, and don't break the airport door.

and i should start on my latin and continue AVO since there's no work today.... lala~ but hzgg attracts me! D= and i feel like watching yitian in advance online T.T I want to see if wuji really gets injured and omg if they have the zhaomin shoving him onto the horse thing it'll be so funny. nyeah.

最怕有一天你离我远去
那将是我最大的悲剧
(女)没有了你山河太阳星星都多馀
(合)我愿为你变成蛾变成蝶变成飞鸟
我飞向你年年岁岁暮暮朝朝
我飞向你生生世世天荒地老
狂风暴雨烈日海啸
不曾让我停下更不曾把我打倒

2010-05-17T06:14:00.000-07:00

I should stop being part of the rat race. I'm not a rat, and therefore, there is no point in participating in this mindless competition. besides, being out of the race brings so much more joy to life. I live for myself - not for a number or a letter, but for who I am.

Being able to spend time with people I like, doing things I enjoy, going crazy over meaningless jokes and laughing at random things. That's a kind of happiness that so many people don't even know exist. And sadly, most of these people are the people still competing.

last npdp.

2010-05-12T05:50:00.000-07:00

Last NPDP.....

it does give me a lot of things to think about, i guess?

about disbelief, annoyance, dread, inferiority complexes, and then confidants, laughter and weird jokes.

after you, my life changed, a lot.

zhangwuji!

2010-05-09T07:01:00.000-07:00

watching yitian (lol not my boyfriend...=.=) makes me extremely excited! Lol just now i was being very agitated in front of the tv.... tsk tsk.

miejue is so annoying!!! she's supposed to be like yi dai zong shi, old and wise and knowledgeable person! and then she went to fight with the ku tou person just because he joked that she was his exlover.... wth la and when they were stuck in the burning place somemore! And i ask you ah how is wuji supposed to rescue the woman who jumped down from the burning tower if he don't go carry her down? use what ah? telekinesis meh!? then stupid miejue still go attack him. see la in the end she caused her own death. laugh at her lor. And then even when she was going to die le she still went to scold him when he never even do anything. Hello!? he just saved like all her disciples' lives and then she scold him? she really no brain leh. and no gratitude.

on the other hand (and leg) I like wuji!! lol no the actor but the character. Although he is quite bian tai and he keeps giving all the girls the wrong idea that he like them.... but his chivalry is so.....=D =D =D lol but the xiaozhao wearing clothes for him part was very biantai! why she need to wear clothes for him!? and he keeps telling her that he likes her alot and she keep thinking that he really likes her in that way when he actually likes zhouzhiruo! who isn't very pretty.

Although i can see why he chose zhaomin in the end! she's so cute and witty although she's like wilful and likes to kill people. but it's quite obvious that both of them are meant to be together. zhiruo looks like the kind of person who would ignore him but zhaomin's the kind who would purposely annoy him just for the fun of it. hoho.

but he's really super awe-inspiring! when he decided that he would save each of them individually from the tower i was quite gan donged, after all, all those people think that he's a evil guy and he could have just let him die. And all the other brave things he did! like that time at bright peak he went to interfere with the fighting and he fought with the wudang people and then at last he was wounded by (i think its the stupid miejue again) and then he suddenly called liushu then they recognised each other... Ah so gan dong! T.T and doesn't help that he's like damn pro either. lol. OH OH that time at wudang he dressed up as the wudang people and he was fighting with the random people, OMG DAMN cool. haiz.

wuji!

2010-05-04T02:08:00.001-07:00

" there are no true friends in this world, because people worthy of that title are called squadmates"

how true.

squadmates bug each other about annoying math problems, chem questions, and bio quizzes. Squadmates sit in circles and annoy each other but no one leaves the circle feeling truly annoyed.

It's a nice feeling to know that I have squadmates to consult when work gets disgustingly incomprehensible.

squadmates are there rain or shine ( but not lightning cos later get electrocuted)

better than the people who are suddenly on great terms with you when exams draw near and strangers when times are good .

2010-04-25T02:08:00.000-07:00

I think I am strangely addicted to wuxia... lol yitian sparked off the love again! =D =D

I promise I WILL go read the book. the show missed out so many parts! D= D= D= if wuji was a real guy i would fall in love with him. although i still wish that he was shuai-er in the show.... he looks kind of old. aish. but his character is so nice! haiz.

maybe i should put a wuji kind of person in AVO. which is coming along nicely.

I've never put so much thought into writing something before. I used to write whatever came to my mind, but now I'm thinking alot more. like ALOT. the plot, the characters, the feelings which are supposed to show through my writing. I hope AVO works out though. Although the possibility of giving up along the way seems pretty high.

haiz.

time to stop.

2010-04-20T05:41:00.001-07:00

Sometimes, I wonder if you really care as much as I do.

Or am I simply giving too much and expecting too much in return?

I don't know.

maybe it's time to take back some of that love and care and concern and stop doing all the little things I do which never get noticed.

they may look stupid, and silly and little, but for a person who doesn't have a way with words, they mean a lot.

not that i mean a lot to you i guess.

te amo, but do you also think that way?

2010-04-19T02:06:00.000-07:00

THINGS TO DO!

1. chem quiz T^T T^T

2. Math quiz! T^T T^T T^T

3. Panel Discussion. 0.0

4. R&R =O

5. Chem ws T^T

6. Latin lesson 2! =) =)

4. borrow yitian! and read! =D =D

They say wild grass is strong. Stamp on it and it'll never die. chun feng chui you sheng.

but i don't think so.

Stamp on it a few times more, and man will triumph over nature.

it seems as though, it's time to walk away from the dead soil.

NP JACKET HUI LAI BA.

2010-04-07T03:36:00.000-07:00

WHY WAS I SO STUPID!!?!!!

I deserve to be flogged for doing such a stupid thing. Yan Ni what is wrong with you why are you such a b**b! slap you slap you slap you slap you.

but we all have to live with the consequences of our mistakes.

I shall freeze to death.

T^T

happy 41 day!

2010-04-01T06:16:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SQUADMATES!

may we be able to celebrate our birthday year after year until we all turn old and wrinkly =D

and thank you squadmates for making me who I am today, for never giving up on me, for not ostracising me and my lousiness, for appreciating my ( spastic and weird) sense of humor, for laughing with (and at ) me, for being there, for making my day.....

the list goes on.

2010-03-29T01:24:00.001-07:00

me is an angry cow. very angry cow.

2010-03-28T08:14:00.000-07:00

I am still annoyed.

I've never been so serious about wanting to do this well, and this year I'm actually going to put my mind to it and do whatever I can go to ensure that it goes well. even if I have to soak my brain in water to make it expand like a big sponge I'm going to do it.

and then she goes and spoils it.

I don't understand why she can't see the logic behind it. birds of a feather flock together, whether their feathers are black or white. If no one can do anything about it, what makes it look like I can? I'm pretty sure I'm not the one who'll save the day, and I don't want to save the day. Not this day. I want to save my own day, make my own life brighter. I refuse to be served up to the altar like some fat lamb ready to be sacrificed. Not that I'm against sacrifices, but if i have to be sacrificed, I want it to be for a worthy cause. a much, much better cause. I'm not going to risk my own happiness to fulfill her wishes, not when the results is a bunch of unhappy people.

Why be blinded?!

screwed.

2010-03-22T07:47:00.000-07:00

today is a screwed sucky watermelon day.

first there was the _____________________ incident which made me so pissed and annoyed and murderous. EH HELLO I AM NOT YOUR SACRIFICIAL LAMB. WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR? SOMETHING FOR YOU TO PUSH AROUND? HELLO HELLO I HAVE RIGHTS TOO!

and then i came home and it was raining like cats and dogs and whatever other animals and then i got nicely wet which is bad. and then i came home to realise that Xiaozhu wasnt on ylbfb which was squished. and then XIAOZHU CONCER TICKETS SOLD OUT. walao.

how screwed a day can one have?!

如果我還有一點點不屑

别想要說服我純潔的絕對

我只是世界上物種絕種的絕類

悄悄的失眠了一光年